Pickpocket Extraordinaire
by SouthernBelle66
Summary: What happens when a poor homeless girl pickpockets Yusuke and gets some of his spirit detective equipment? All hell breaks lose in Japan!
1. Never steal from someone bigger than you

Okay so here's another story. I'm still working on "Art of Lying," but I had the idea for this story and felt like making it!

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Hiya Jinxers!" I hear Petey yell as he does everyday. In case you were wondering, I'm Jinxers. That's not my real name, but no one knows my real name so it doesn't matter. The other street kids I hang out with started calling me that after they realized my luck was even worse then theirs. I don't mind what they call me, I'm just happy they accepted me, cuz I'm a girl and all.

"Hey Petey" I reply hoarsely, I haven't had a drink in a long time my tongue is practically stuck to the roof of my mouth. Petey's about 10 years old, with red hair and blue eyes. This kid's the only non-homeless kid I talk to. I'm 15 and just about all skin and bones, I sit in the same doorway everyday in the same position. Leaning my back against the door frame my left leg bent my right leg laying flat with my left hand sitting upturned on my right knee. I was their everyday begging for money, no one ever paid.

"Jinxy you don' look so good. You should go to a hospital" Pete says eyeing me worriedly. I must be a sight, in my fingerless gloves torn up flannel coat, and thick sweat pants with holes in them. Not to mention the fact I was covered in last weeks newspapers and my chin length black hair hadn't been washed in a while, I also had a black eye and scars covering my face. "Heh, sorry Petey doctors take cash and I don't got none. But I could use some water and a scrap of food, good gracious I'm starved. No food in 4 days, sheesh" I give him a pleading look and he runs off to get what I asked for. He's a good kid, Petey's a real sweet kid, and he's like a brother to me.

I slowly stand on shaky legs, the news falls to the ground and I start walking up the street trying to get the feeling back in my legs. Petey's used to me walking off while he goes to get me food; he'll hide the food in the usual spot behind the old dumpster and go home. I pass rundown old shacks and gangs about to fight as I walk away from downtown. No one in this part of town has anything except for some knives and booze, but I got a knife and never got a taste for booze. When I first started on the streets the gangs bugged me, always flirting with me (only because I was the only girl in this part of downtown) but never tried anything physical. I wondered why but never asked, you don't talk to people like that, they're trouble.

I'm officially in the city, not that crappy place I live but the wonderful city. People looked at me like I was a heap of rags (which I was) or didn't look at me at all. They probably thought that if they looked at me my bad luck would catch on to them, it just might. I looked around for someone to pick pocket, I forgot to mention that, I'm a first class thief extraordinaire! I see a tall bear-of-a-man walking down the street in a suit and tie, "Okay Mr. FancyPants how much cash you got?" I wonder aloud grabbing his wallet out of his front pocket as I walk by.

I walk faster hearing him reach in his pocket, curse, then turn around (I have amazing hearing). I feel him looking at me then he shouts "stop! Thief!" and runs after me as I take off like my life depended on it, which it does. He's fast, and HUGE running after me, _'oh please don't let nobody catch me don't let nobody-' _I'm jerked outta my thoughts as I run smack into someone, or a lot of someones. I don't have time to count how many their are because someone grabs the back of my coat and socks me in the face. The wallet is ripped from my grasp and I'm punched again.

"Dirty little street bitch, maybe you'll think twice before stealing from me!" I hear the bear man yell before turning and stalking off. I sit on the sidewalk dazed and hurting from the punches, I can tell I'm getting a huge bruise on my cheek and another black eye. I whimper slightly. "Excuse me, are you alright?" I look up at a tall guy with long red hair and emerald eyes. I recognize him right away, he's Shuichi Minamino, Petey was adopted by Shuichi and his mother last year. I've never spoken to Shuichi or his mom but I've seen then with Pete.

I look at the rest of his group, an idiot with orange hair holding a cat, and a tall guy with slicked back black hair. "I'm fine, that's not the first time I'm gotten beat up. People don't tend to like to have their stuff taken; I'm Jinxers by the way."

"Interesting name, I'm Shuichi, the one with the cat is Kuwabara and the other is Yusuke. Um...are you hungry, thirsty, sick?" he looks kinda worried. That's how most people look at me, the way you look at a beaten dog, 'oh, so sad, too bad, lets go'

"I'm hungry, thirsty AND sick, but I gotta go." I reply pealing my self off the concrete, and stealing whatever was in Yusuke's pocket as I went, luckily I wasn't caught.

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There's chapter one, please review! And read my other story if you haven't already!


	2. Good thing I speak Italian!

In this chapter there will be some Italian spoken so next to a word in Italian you'll see this ((English meaning of word in Italian)) okay? Good! I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho ad never will! Don't steal my story, please review!

P.S. I think I'm going to delete my other fic, because it so awfully pathetic it isn't even funny.

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_'Yusuke is gay, he has to be gay! He didn't look gay...but he has a compact! A GIRLY COMPACT! Maybe he's holding it for his girlfriend...or maybe I'm right and he's gay...oh well guess I'll never know.'_ I lay Yusuke's things in front of me, a purple and pink compact, a funky lookin' ring thing, a strange compass that points to me no matter which way I move, and an odd little magnifying glass. I shove the ring, compass in my pocket and leave the magnifying glass on the ground. I open the compact and find a blank screen, '_oh. My. God. YUSUKE WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT! That explains everything! Those guys work for the government and are undercover as gay guys to get into a gay bar and stop a drug dealing ring!' _I let my mind wander coming up with different crazy reasons that Yusuke would carry a compact. I was always like this, a daydreamer, I wasn't meant to live on the streets, I aint tuff enough for this type of life.

"_Ciao ((Hi)) _Jinxers!" I here a loud Italian voice yell. I quickly shove all the rest of my items into my pocket and look up to greet Disteso, well actually he don't have a real name so's everyone just calls him that because it means relaxed in Italian and, well, he was almost always relaxed. Disty was my nickname for him; he was a main member of one of the highest ranked gangs around here. Disty was maybe 6' some inches of lean hard muscle, he wasn't exactly buff but I always wondered how he could be so strong living on the streets. His skin was tan from being outside and he was missing one of his front teeth. He was a year older than me at 16 and his unruly short brown hair looked more messed up then usual. Disty looked good with messy hair, I couldn't picture him with combed hair, it would look wrong, way wrong.

He was in the same thing he always wore, a pair of jeans, showing off his bare chest, and a sheath tied around his waist, in it he had his pride and joy, a 7 inch long blade of pure steel that took him 4 months work to buy, he never steals. "Hey ya Disty, how's the gang stats goin'?" I ask because I know he likes to talk about things like that. Disty was really nice and my best friend. He kept his gang from killing me once, you see this doorway I used to sit at is part of the Distruzione's turf, that's Disty's gang, and if you're gonna live on their turf you gotta pay them. I didn't know and never paid so they came after me Disty stopped them, he didn't even know me back then. He told me I'd have to go off their turf, I obeyed.

"It's _d'accordo_ ((okay)) I am _capo_ ((leader)) of the Distruzione's now. We still _migliore_ ((the best))." he announced with pride. I was extremely happy he had givin me Italian speech lessons or I wouldn't have understood a word he said. "How are you getting along _signorina_ Jinxers?" He asked politely, "_Mi manchi tanto_ ((I miss you much)) on our turf. It's much more _faticoso_ ((difficult)) for me to walk over here to talk to you. _Che peccato_ ((what a pity)) because I love your company."

I smiled, Disty was flirting with me, but I don't think he really meant anything by it. I mean who would like a poor skinny street bum? "I'm doing okay, I managed to get some food yesterday. You cant tell me you came all the way over here to ask me how I'm doing? What do you really want?" Maybe that sounded rude but I don't care, quite honestly I wanted him to go away so I could figure out why the hell Yusuke was carrying this stuff around.

"No _signorina_, there is to be a _gara _((fight)) between gangs to see who's gang owns this _strada _((street)). The _gara_ ((fight)) will start in a half hour you must leave or you will get _ferito _((hurt))." he stated with a grin looking bored, that's Disty for ya, always relaxed. I might get killed and he looks bored out of his mind. I nodded stood up gave him a friendly hug and thanked him for the warning. "Bye bye Disty."

He walks off and I plop back into my seat. Half hour, that's plenty of time! I reach into my pocket pull out that strange looking ring and put it on. "Okay...what the heck?" I wonder aloud quirking an eyebrow. It felt funny when I put it on, I pull it off and do what I usually do when something freaks me out, I slam it to the ground as hard as I can. "HOLY SH-" my yell is drowned out by a loud whooshing noise. I had broken the stupid ring...

AT KOENMA'S

"YOU WHAT?" Koenma screamed at Yusuke. His eyes getting wide and you could see the anger in them.

"I cant find them, any of them, the concentration ring, the spy glass. the demon compass, the communicator, none of it. I didn't take them out of my pocket so they must have been stolen." Yusuke replied coolly clearly not realizing how bad the situation was. Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Hiei were in Koenma's office and everyone except Hiei listened as Koenma screamed at Yusuke for being so stupid. "Do you know what could happen? If someone breaks the ring all the energy in it would go into them forever! It would be like giving a human demon powers! The demon compass, spyglass and communicator were important! I've never had a detective that lost his tools!"

"Couldn't you use the communicator to figure out who has it? Just give them a call." Kurama suggested smartly. Koenma grumbled a bit because it was such an obvious solution and he had not thought of it himself. "Fine, BOTAN!" he yelled for his annoyingly chipper grim reaper, who appeared instantly.

"Yes sir?"

"Could I have the communicator?"

"Well you see sir, that's a funny story, ha-ha, um.."

"Botan where is the communicator." Koenma asked through clenched teeth.

"It, uh...broke..." Botan backed up slightly as steam came out of the tiny ruler's ears and his head got so large and red he looked like he was a cross between a pumpkin and a tomato.

"YOU BROKE IT HOW COULD YOU BREAK IT! YOU ARE THE GRIM REAPER! HOW DID YOU BREAK THE COMMUNICATOR?" without waiting for an answer Koenma continued his rant until he finally sighed and sunk into his chair. What are we gonna do to solve this mess? I'll have to search every person in the city...you are dismissed until I figure out who has the items."

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Okay there you go, please review! 


	3. Old men and Leopard boxers!

I'm sorry if I'm slow with updating for awhile but my parents are getting divorced and there's this whole custody battle thingy over my sister and me that I'm dealing with and I'm kinda short on time. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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_'Ugh... what the hell was that? Ow...my head...what is that smell? Garbage, old garbage...EW'_ I slowly open my eyes and see that I'm lying on a pile of trash. "Oh gross!" I screech peeling a moldy piece of pizza (at least I thing that's what it is) off my shoulder. I glance around and see a pizza box right in front of me with something scrawled across it, who ever dumped me here was leaving me a note! _'Idiot forgot I can't read'_ I cuss quietly and stand up trying to remember everything I can.

"Okay," I take a deep breath, "I was looking at the ring and I put it on, so far so good, then there was something weird about how it felt so I hit it against the ground, which is a perfectly normal street-smart instinct. Then it broke and...Oh man did it hurt...and now I'm sitting on garbage looking at what I thing is a note but it doesn't matter 'cause I cant read." I groan "oh Jinxy you are in troooooouble!" I peer into a bit of broken glass next to me, "oh shit, my eyes..."

KOENMAS!

"Good you're here, I've figured out who stole you things Yusuke!" Koenma stated looking very pleased with himself. "Her name is Piper Sycamore, but she goes by Jinxers. She is a mostly normal girl living on the streets. This means we can easily get back your things Yusuke. The only issue is she managed to break the concentration ring."

"Wait a second...Jinxers! Oh yeah! That's the homeless kid who got pummeled the other day! She must have pick pocketed my stuff! That little-"

"Yusuke! Focus please!" Koenma orders before the idiot starts on his loooong list of profanities.

"...Sycamore...like the tree?" Kurama askes. He forms a frown between his eyebrows at Koenma's nod. "It's not a very common last name is it?" Without waiting for an answer he continues his musings, "There was a colleague of Yoko's...Rowan Sycamore?" at the mention of the name Hiei, who had appeared asleep, wakes and begins listening. "He was a very strong demon, and a good criminal, oh say...400 years ago? Is this girl related to him?"

"Yes, in fact, there's a very strong family resemblance. As I said, it should be fairly easy to get back the tools, even though the girl broke the ring. My only concern is that because of the extra power from the concentration ring she might have some long lost demon energy awakened in her, I'm afraid she might have gotten her Great great great great great great grandfathers abilities, Kurama what were some of his skills?"

"As the name suggests he was amazing with plants, he could tell what kind of plant something was and what it could do just by touching it. He was also an illusionist, very good at messing with people, driving them insane by forcing them into their worst nightmares, causing them to kill themselves. The last I can remember was his ability to turn himself and everything he touches invisible except the floor he stands on."

"Sounds like a happy kind of guy" Kuwabara muttered.

"He was," Hiei states causing everyone to jump, "Rowan was a friend of mine, even if in the end I killed him. He was always smiling, the irritating buffoon."

JINXERS!

"M-m-my eyes are orange!" I stare into the broken glass; it's true, my eyes are the color of a setting sun, bright, bright orange! I squeeze my eyes shut _'Go away! I want my normal eyes back! Go away! DISAPPEAR!'_ I scream in my head. I open my eyes again and stare into the glass and see nothing._ 'What the hell? Where am I? Why can't I see me?"_ I reach down and cut my finger on the glass, I know I am bleeding! "Why can't I see it? Oh...wait there's the blood dripping off me...but I can't see it till if drops off! Oh crap! I disappeared! Oh SHOOT! AHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream and run in circles throwing my hands over my head "I've gone crazy! I MUST'VE BEEN GIVIN A DRUG AND NOW I'M IMAGINING THAT I BROKE THE RING AND AM INVISIBLE!" In my insane moment I drop to the ground and mutter to myself,

"It's okay Jinxy, lots 'a people go crazy"

"I don't wanna go crazy! I'm too young!"

"Don't worry you'll be fine, just be reasonable!"

"SCREW REASON! SOMEONE WILL SEE ME AND SHOOT ME! I'M GONNA DIE!"

"You know what, you have a point, you will die."

"WHAT! YOU ARE THE VOICE OF REASON! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY I'LL BE FINE!"

"Just because I'm the voice of reason doesn't mean I have to be nice!"

"Oi. I'm not talking to you any more, besides there's only one way to see if I'm really disappeared."

"...you know disappeared isn't a word-"

"SHUT UP! I'M DONE TALKING TO YOU!"

I slowly stand up and exit the alley strolling casually down the abandoned streets till I saw my victim, a short, squat old man walking down a crowded street full of women. I crept up behind him and dramatic pause shanked him good! I pulled his pants down to his ankles, and he screamed like a retarded chicken then stumbled and fell giving me a wonderful view of pink leopard spotted boxers! "ACK! WHO WEARS THOSE! WHO EVER MADE THEM SHOULD BE ARRESTED!" I scream on top of the shouting of women around me.

"W-who said that, who did this?" screamed the man pulling up his pants, he was now as red as his undies. I scream in his ear and he goes as white as a sheet.

"Who are you?" he whispers.

"Your worst nightmare" I whisper directly in his ear making my voice raspy and frightening.

"...GHOST! AHHH GHOST! HELP! AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!" He screams running off. _'So I really am invisible...the possibilities are endless!'_ I grin then head to the park shanking everyone I walk by. _'Maybe they'll put all this random shanking on the news!'_

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There it is! I hope you like! The next chapter is going to be a lot of chaos as Jinxers messes with her powers! If there's anything you'd like her to do with invisibility or illusions let me know in a review!


	4. KOOBANGA FROM THE ISLAND OF WOKKAWOKKA

Don't own YYH sorry that this chapter is not up to par! Written very quickly!

Okay! Roll 'em!

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"I hate rain, I hate cold, I hate bein' disappeared, and most of all, I HATE THIS STUPID PARK BENCH!" I scream at the top of my lungs, causing birds four blocks away to fly away in fear, and a few nut-cases out for a stroll in the rain to stare at the talking park bench. Welcome to another day in the meaningless life of me, Jinxers, who is currently invisible and cant un-disappear! I slowly take in my surroundings; it was very dark last night when I collapsed on the park bench completely exhausted. I hadn't expected rain, or cold, or that the park bench would hug all the wrong places.

_All right I'm in the north side of town, very tourist-y lots of shops and such._ I thought to myself. I loved the north side, it was so cute, all the little family-run shops and restaurants, however it is a little less cute in the middle of a MONSOON! I began to make my way out of the park winding my way around trees and such. As soon as I escaped the dangers of low lying branches and shrubs I made a run for it. Under the canopy of a small restaurant, **The** **Pizzeria, **I tried thinking through my options.

"I could go to a doctor-"

"But they're all crackpots." replied my other self. ((Sorry to all doctors but I have had some medical issues and couldn't resists this chance!!))

"True, remember the one who thought a KEG was a case of booze!"

"Oh yeah! But we're getting off topic!"

"Right...I could go see Petey! Yes I'll do that!!"

"Well, we could go see Petey, later. For now, you are invisible!! Think of the possibilities!!"

"Of course!!" I was beginning to see that this might be a good day after all! The first thing I did was walk into the pizza joint behind me.

"Hullo?" questioned the man behind the counter.

_Time to lay it on thick Jinxy! Here goes, _"I AM THE GREAT ALL POWERFUL KOOBANGA FROM THE ISLAND OF WOKKA-WOKKA!! FEAR MY AWESOME POWER!!" I cried tipping over chairs and tables, flinging salt and generally making a mess.

"O-oh great-"

"BOW WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME!!" I cried stopping him mid sentence.

His eyes got huge as he bowed and started again. "O-oh great powerful b-b-being w-w-w-what d-do you w-want??" the pitiful clerk asked shaking.

_Holy smokes he bought it! _I thought creeping up next to him and whispering in his ear, "One extra large pepperoni please."

"Y-yes sir! R-right away!" He went in back of the store and brought out a box of pizza. I smiled when he fainted after I got out the door. Then I continued towards Petey's house, while scarfing my pizza, and grinning smugly.

MEANWHILE WITH THE SPIRIT DETECTIVES!!

"How the hell are we supposed to find this kid? She could be anywhere!" complained Yusuke to everyone as they walked down the street.

"You saw all the mysterious de-pantsings that were on the news channel didn't you??" questioned Kurama.

"There is a news channel?" interjected Kuwabara annoyingly.

"Yes, you giant orange baboon there is." snapped Hiei.

"What about the de-pantsings Kurama?" asked Keiko who was standing next to Yusuke.

"I am guessing that Jinxers has accidentally made herself invisible and was having some fun with her power by de-pantsing whom ever she saw. If I am correct then she might be somewhere in the north side of town. I suggest we split up." the ever knowledgeable Kurama suggested happily.

"Fine, Keiko, go home and watch the news, call if anything else odd happens." Yusuke began to order.

"Alright bye!" she said running off.

"Now, Kuwabara come with me, we will look in the downtown area. Hiei you look up in the northern part of town. And Kurama you look in middle town where all the suburban areas are." Yusuke continued to dictate. Everyone went there separate ways, not because they were following Yusuke's orders, but because they were all thinking along the same lines.

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AND CUT THAT'S A RAP! I am sorry for the general state of this chapter! The next one will be better! Please review I live off of reviews!! FEED THE STARVING AUTHOR!

P.S. I like roasting marshmallows, feel free to flame!


	5. How NOT to pick up the phone

My deepest apologies once again for the last chapter, I don't know if it will get me off the hook, but I was on some...um...interesting new medicine when I wrote it...DONT EAT ME!

LIGHTS! CAMERA! AND GO!

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_Okay...I can do this, where does Petey live...alright, he said, "It's in the ritzy part of town, a gorgeous white house"...GOOD LORD!! Why is white such a popular colour for houses!!_ I stopped walking and started babbling to myself. I was here in Petey's neighborhood, but couldn't for the life of me FIND THE HOUSE! "This is hopeless, White house! HA! There are only like 50 gazillion of them here! Okay, calm down, what else do I know..."

FLASHBACK!

"You should see where I live Jinxy! You would love it! I know, I'll adopt you! You can come stay in the white house with all the flowers! It's amazing!" Petey was yelling in my ear jumping up and down with excitement. Poor kid, hate to burst his bubble.

"Petey I can't move in with you! Your mother would never allow it. Now go fetch me some water or sum' fin"

END FLASHBACK!

"FLOWERS!!! AHA! I KNEW PETEY WOULDN'T FORSAKE ME!! BEAUTIFUL BOY!!! HAHA!" I screamed jumping for joy, not only at the fact I now knew what to look for, but also at the fact I remembered. I have a notoriously bad memory...I don't remember things from one hour to the next, it's like a DISEASE! But back to the matter at hand. I look up and saw that a white house with flowers stood in front of me...and my jaw hit the pavement (figuratively, of course). This was the most beautiful house I had ever seen, amazing plants surrounded it, colours sprouted from the ground like nothing I had ever seen. This was heaven, it was spectacular, and for a nano-second I forgot my predicament and wanted only to surround my self with the flowers to smell and touch them.

But only for a second, I had to keep a clear mind, had to let my floral fantasies subside so I could become visible again. I took a deep breath ran past the flowers to the door I pulled hard of the handle stepped inside and **_BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!_ **_Oh s! A house alarm! Oh my God!! ACK!!! I am gonna be arrested! When they see me-_ "O

"oooooohhhhh! I get it now!" I said aloud, _I_ _am disappeared! NO ONE can see me! _

_'No REALLY!? You ARE slow_!' My opposing thought demon replied

"H-hello who's there?"

WITH YUSUKE AND KUWABARA!

_Brring! brring! brring! _

"Answer the damn phone Kuwabara!" yelled and annoyed Yusuke who quickly snatched the phone from the orange oaf before he could hit talk.

"Yeah?"

"Is that anyway to answer a phone Yusuke?" replied the familiar voice.

"No Keiko. Any news?"

"Yes a store on the Northside was robbed at 10am! They say a mighty invisible lord came in destroyed the store and ordered a pizza, a little odd I think."

"Sounds like the little twerp! When I get my hands on her..."

"HUSH! The police found the pizza box discarded about 30ft from Kurama's neighborhood! You guys better get over there quickly!"

"Alright bye," Yusuke said to no one, "damn girl hung up" he muttered then he called up Kurama and Hiei.

WITH JINXERS!

I heard over the squealing alarm a small voice; "W-who's there?"

I whipped around to see Petey standing on the bottom step. Wielding a baseball bat and trembling he called out again,

"H-hello?"

"Shhh relax Petey it's me Jinxers okay?" I said soothingly, the last thing I needed was for the poor boy to flip out and call the police. I focused on him, gauging his reaction; his eyes were going left right, up down, everywhere. I knew he heard my voice right in front of him, but he could not see me.

"Where?" he whispered it so quietly I was amazed I could hear it over that damn house alarm. He was so scared, he couldn't form a sentence. I was afraid to tell him the truth, but what else was there? _There is nothing else to do. _The voice in my head stated calmly. I sighed turned and said in Petey's face,

"I am invisible Petey." I watched as he blinked shook his head then, unexpectedly, a look of daring crossed his face.

"Prove it Jinxers." He spat back at me, I would have been furious, if I really cared what Petey said. I had realized in that split second that he wasn't very important to me after all. _Prove it. _Okay if that's what he wants.

I leapt forward, touched Petey's arm and was horrified. Petey gasped and tried to pull away form me but I kept my grip. _This is Petey's worst nightmare. _Stated the ever present voice in my head as I watched in fascination.

NIGHTMARE!

Petey was walking down the road where I normally sit. There was no one in the door way, nothing there except a drop of blood. I watched Petey panic, he ran down the street yelling screaming but no one seemed to care. There in a ditch by the side of the road was my dead body. I was full of bullet wounds and gashes. The ditch resembled a kiddie pool of my blood. Petey was sitting next to the pool terrified. Then I couldn't take it anymore and let Petey go.

END NIGHTMARE!

When I dropped Petey he collapsed on the stairs. I was about the see if he was okay when I realized something, the house was silent. Totally silent. Someone had come in and turned off the alarm. I turned around and saw a small man standing behind me, his hair was spiky and oddly styled and he was wearing a um...dress?

The cross-dressers eyes quickly flashed to Petey, judging I guessed, whether or not he was breathing.

"Alright girl I know you're here now show yourself or I will hurt you." I new he was speaking but couldn't hear his words my mind was racing, _How does he know I am here?? Who is he? _At this moment I saw him pull a long sword out of a sheath around his mid-section, this got my attention. I could tell by looking at him that he wouldn't hesitate to kill me if necessary. _He will hear you if you move. But you might be able to out maneuver him. _My eyes flew left and right while his eyes were closed. _Listening,_ I realized, _He's listening_. Then I saw my salvation, the banister! I could use it to get onto the top floor! I grabbed it with one arm and as soon as I moved Mini-me's arm slashed out and put a horrible gash in my arm!

"AAGGHH!" I screamed throwing myself forward on the steps and scrambling upward in a desperate attempt to escape.

"Silly girl, you lose." The little man taunted meanly. I heard his voice above me, that meant…! He was suddenly at the top of the stairs. He knew where I was now, my breathing was loud and heavy and my arm was leaving a puddle of blood on the stairs. I quickly grabbed my bleeding arm in an attempt to slow the blood flow. Then, just as he was bringing the butt end of the sword down on me I jumped up and kicked him in the nuts. He doubled over with a curse. I saw my chance and tried to run past him. He grabbed at my blindly managing to grab my ankle and throw me down the wooden stairs. I don't remember hitting the bottom.

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Alright that's it! Reviews are my anti-drug!

I ran out of matches so feel free to flame!


	6. How to Rule Your Way Out of a Yard Stick

Okay I know it's been awhile and I don't really have much of an excuse! I'll try to write more often! I PROMISE! I don't own YYH!

3...2...1...BANG!

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_'Pound...pound...pound...ugh...my head..._' My skull was pounding like a heavy metal drum solo. It hurt so much that decapitation suddenly seemed like a reasonable solution, and, despite my street-wise image, I wanted to cry. But we don't always get what we want. I opened my eyes, and couldn't quite make out what I was seeing. Everything seemed to be hopping up and down in tune with the jackhammer that was in my skull.

_'Why's everything jumping?' _asked my confused thoughts.

"No one's jumping Jinxers." someone replied. Had I thought out loud? I couldn't be sure. This damn pounding was making me sick. I moaned in agony and tried to bring my hands up to rub my temples, but they wouldn't move (my hands not my temples).

_'I'm in Chains. Shit. Pound, pound, pound...'_ my thoughts were erratic, scattered and I had closed my eyes again. I tried to speak, "Ungh...my head...stop it...chains..." I knew I wasn't making any sense. I knew what I wanted to say but at the moment what I said didn't matter to me, I just wanted to be saying something.

Suddenly one of the jumping figures spoke: "Hey, is she gonna be okay?"

'_Maybe they are good people,' _I thought hearing the worry in his words, '_maybe they'll give me a balloon...wait, someone's talking...'_

"Yes, I believe so; she just hit her head really hard. I'll give her the pain killers." Footsteps were approaching me, I tensed and tried to yell, I didn't want anyone near me, but I couldn't hear myself over the pounding.

"Jinxers...Jinxers?" a voiced called from somewhere beyond my closed eyes.

I tried to ask what he wanted but it came out as a gnarled sounding shriek.

"I'm going to give you a painkiller, it will stop the headache and the jumping people, okay? So, just open up for me" The voice was gentle and strangely familiar but I was chained up and that alone made me a little bit nervous, there was no way I was gonna open my mouth to take some unknown pills. When I didn't open my mouth he used two (very cold) fingers to pinch my nose. For those of you who aren't following this there are only two places you can breathe from, the mouth and the nose. With my nose plugged I had no choice but to open my mouth. When I did he forced the pills in. I thrashed and grunted but he was clearly stronger than I, so the pills went down.

The man backed off and left me chained up and panting while I waited for a drug induced hallucination to begin. At first there was only the pounding, but then, very abruptly, it stopped and I felt fine. I am not a brave person and so I remained with my eyes closed for sometime before thrusting them open and peering at the room. It was a small interrogation room with peeling walls that smelled like sweat and piss, two smells I knew very well. I suddenly realized why the voices had seemed so familiar; they were all people I had pissed off. Three of the guys I had met on the street and naturally the cross dresser mini-me with the weird hair was there, along with some toddler who looked very regal for someone so young. I wasn't friends with these people; I had stolen from three of them and had kicked one in the nuts. I figured they weren't here to give me a balloon. _'Oh shit, they look so pissed, I wish they'd stop staring...wait a sec...THEY'RE STARING...AT ME! I'M SEE-ABLE...double shit.' _

"...you can all see me can't ya?" I said in a shaky voice.

"yup." all five men said in unison.

"...and you're pissed right?"

"Yup."

"...great...soo...yeeahh." I sat there trying to think of something to say that would get me outta this mess, "Well um...the stuff I finched off you guys is in my pocket. I'd give it to ya but well...chains." I jingled the restraints in question to prove my point.

"We already have our stuff." said the one with the long pretty red hair. I couldn't remember their names, not even one of their names, my memory sucked.

"Oh. Good, so I can go right?" I tried to sound chipper and hopeful, but I think all I managed was depressed and doomed. They didn't reply, but their faces said it all. Even the child had an angry, stubborn look pasted on, I wasn't going anywhere. "Right. Hey, how come I'm visible now? And who's the kid? Don'tcha think it's a little irresponsible bringing a kid in here? I mean come on! It smells like piss, that can't be good for him." I sounded indignant and rude. I mean who was I to give them parenting advice?

"I AM NOT A KID!" yelled the kid.

"Awww! Got a widdle age compwex don'tcha widdle guy!" I cooed sarcastically.

"I am not widd-I mean LITTLE, and I do NOT have an age complex. I am Koenma, the ruler of the spirit world. And you," he yelled pointing an accusing finger in my direction, "are under arrest!"

"Wow, I've heard of delusional people but this kid's a doosy! HOLY CRAP! You really think you're the ruler of whatchamacallit don'tcha? HA! Look kid you couldn't rule your way out of a yard stick, and you cannot arrest me! Got it?" I heard the snickers of the audience in the room, particularly the two guys in uniforms. I also saw the child swelling up with humiliation and anger.

"HOW DARE YOU! I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS! YUSUKE AND HIEI PUT HER IN A CELL!" He turned to yell at two of the guys who sprung into action unchaining me. When the child's gaze returned to me he said, "I am so tired of being called a child! When you are ready to talk civilly I will take you out of the jail and we will talk. Until then you are under ARREST!" he paused then added, mockingly, "Got it?"

"When you say arrest do you mean like, 'I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. I have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If I cannot afford a lawyer-"

"SHUT UP" Koenma yelled and I shut up. "And yes! That is exactly the kind of arrested I had in mind." By now Yusuke and Hiei, who were really gel-guy and cross-dresser mini-me, had me unchained and began dragging me out of the room.

"I WILL BE BACK! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO! FEAR ME! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!!" I began spewing out every cliché movie line I had ever heard while being dragged away towards some unknown jail cell. "GRAB YOUR TORCH AND PITCH FORKS! LOCK YOUR DOORS! HIDE YOUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN! BWUHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up Jinxers, he can't hear you anymore" snapped the taller of my captors with a grin. "That was a pretty good speech you gave him though, couldn't rule your way out of a yard stick. HA!"

I looked up at him and glared, my luck really sucked.

* * *

Okay that's it. Please review.

My powers out so feel free to flame!


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